Tango-Uniform: Doe's? Don't!

Doe's Eat Place
2806 S Walton Blvd
Bentonville, AR 72712
Phone: (479) 254-8081
Website: doesnwa.com

Prices: $$$$

There are so many things wrong with Doe's, I am having difficulty finding any positives ...

Tamales and Chili - $10

1) The salad was soggy

2) The tamales were bland and overpriced ($10 for 6), the chili boring

3) You cannot order a steak under 1 1/2 to 2 pounds for one person unless you want to pay $33 for an 8 ounce filet mignon. I went without a steak because I could not eat 24 ounces of meat and refuse to pay $66 a pound for a steak. The smallest steak porterhouse, sirloin, or t-bone you can get is 1 1/2 to 2 pounds and they refuse to sell anything smaller. How many people can eat 24-32 ounces of meat in one sitting? 

4) The gumbo was disgusting. Tomatoes, okra, and hot dogs instead of andouille sausage ... barf!

5) $7 for a 14 ounce beer, $8 for a well drink ... in Arkansas ... really?

6) The menu is extremely limited. They have steak, shrimp, tamales, something they call gumbo and corn and crab bisque (which they are always out of apparently) ... that's it!

On the positive side, I tried some of the French fries and they were hot and decent. Our server was also friendly and efficient. Otherwise, I saw few redeeming qualities in this roadside dive in Walmart's hometown.

CombatCritic Gives Doe's Eating Place 2 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

UPDATE: After my review was posted on Yelp, the business owner, Matt Huson, left a very unprofessional public comment attacking me personally and defaming my character for my less than stellar review:

10/31/2015  Just to clarify a few things.  We are leaving this reply public so that you can decide for yourself of the validity of the review.

First and foremost we do sell only 100% USDA Prime Beef, but you are lying about the prices.  Our most expensive steak is $24 per lb. NOT $66 per lb..  Since you are blatantly lying about that I will allow readers to decide if they trust the rest of your scathing and shady review.  

And as a Gumbo connoisseur, I'm very surprised that you mistake andouille sausage as "hot dogs".
Maybe sizzler would be a more suiting place for your refined tongue.   We get that we are not for everyone, but to lie and make assumptions as you have is not disliking our food, it's ridiculous.

Owner/Management is always on staff and happy to answer any questions or concerns our customers may have.  If you were having a bad experience we are happy to help, as it is our job.

To which I replied:

Dear Matt,

First, in regard to your unprofessional and insulting comment:  

"Our most expensive steak is $24 per lb. NOT $66 per lb..  Since you are blatantly lying about that I will allow readers to decide if they trust the rest of your scathing and shady review",  

you need to brush up on your math Matt. Here's a word problem for you ...

Q: If an 8 ounce petite filet mignon costs $33 and there are 16 ounces in a pound, how much per pound is a petite filet?

A: $66 per pound

Am I a liar sir? Do the math if are able.

Second, in reply to your comment:

"and as a Gumbo connoisseur, I'm very surprised that you mistake andouille sausage as hot dogs", 

I apologize. Your "andouille sausage" merely looks and tastes like hot dogs as I and the rest of my party of 16 agreed. Our mistake. We still could not finish more than half of the disgusting concoction, "andouille sausage" or not.

Finally, about the "Sizzler" comment (yes, it is a proper noun and is capitalized), I have no response to such a absurd, vengeful, and unprofessional comment.

I am a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel, combat Veteran, and disabled Veteran and I do not appreciate you or anybody else calling me a liar and insulting my character. My review was not a personal attack on you or your establishment, merely my opinion about my experience on one particular evening. I am sorry that you cannot accept constructive criticism well and must resort to vicious personal attacks on your customers when you receive a negative review. 

I am not new at this and have tens of thousands of faithful readers who enjoy my detailed and objective reviews here, on my blogs, and elsewhere. Think about incorporating feedback, positive and negative, into your business plan rather than biting the hand that feeds you my friend.

Respectfully,

Chris S aka CombatCritic

Matt Huson, obviously not the nicest or most intelligent guy in Bentonville (or the planet for that matter), then responded: 

"Now they will know you lie"

As the say, the proof is in the picture:

Petite Filet - $32 (Now $33) Per Half-Pound (8 Ounces Matt)

Here is a recent Yelp review on Doe's Eat Place from another customer:

"... there are a few things like the gumbo that a person might want to avoid. 

The gumbo was not much more than tomato soup with some okra and hot dogs cut up.  I showed our server several full bowls of gumbo that had hardly been touched and was told "some people like it, some don't." 

Tamales are pretty flat until you light them up with the chili sauce that is provided.  By the way - the chili will also light you up.

Service was okay - overall a bit pricey for what they deliver."

Rick H. 

Cape Girardeau, MO 

2 Star Rating (Out of 5) - 10/28/2015

I will not respond further to Matt's unprofessional and vengeful banter and will let you decide for yourself who is more credible ...

Matt Huson - "Owner" of Doe's Eat Place

Or ...

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Doe's? Don't!

Key Words: Doe's Eating Place, Doe's, doe, does, eating, place, steak, shrimp, bar, dive, Bentonville, AR, Arkansas, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Translation: "Tango-Uniform" - Tits Up (Dead)

WTFO! - Muy Bueno ... OLÉ!

El Pueblito

1705 Forest Hills Boulevard
Bella Vista, AR 72715
Phone: (479) 855-2324

Website: El-Pueblito's Facebook Page

Prices: $$$$

A medium size place with booths and tables, El Pueblito was busy on a Friday night but they managed to make room for our party of 16 when we decided to change restaurants last minute while on a golf outing in Bella Vista.

The chips were nothing special, but the salsa was good, particularly the hot sauce which is, like at most Mexican restaurants, available upon request. I ordered a small guacamole ($1.99) which was as big as a $4-$5 order at many other restaurants. It was not the best I have had, but was good and a very good value.

They had 99 cent drafts and $4.99 16 ounce margaritas on special, so I went with the margarita, one on the rocks and one blended, both with the requisite salt. They were both good, but I preferred the blended variety.

For dinner, I chose the ala carte carne asada tacos ($1.99 each) and cheese and onion enchiladas (also $1.99 each). The tacos came wrapped individually in aluminum foil and the warm corn tortillas were filled with small strips of the marinated beef. Adding some of the guacamole I had ordered and  salsa, the only thing missing was some pico de gallo. The enchilada sauce was obviously homemade and delicious, the best I have had in recent memory, and there was plenty of cheese and onions. Both the tacos and enchiladas were an excellent value being $1-$2 less than ala carte items at many of the places I frequent in Kansas.

They even had a mariachi band that night, not the best I have heard, but a nice touch which added to the ambience of the experience. The food was very good although I did see a hard shell taco which looked like the pre-fab shells so many poor restaurants serve, but the food I had was excellent. After eating mediocre Mexican food in Lawrence for two years, El Pueblito was a breath of fresh air on our trip to northwestern Arkansas.

CombatCritic Gives El Pueblito 8 Out Of 10 Bombs For Good Food At Very Reasonable Prices ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 
El Pueblito
Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)
Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Muy Bueno ... OLÉ!

Key Words: El Pueblito, el, pueblito, Mexican, taco, Bella Vista, Arkansas, AR, margarita, enchilada, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Translation: "WTFO!" - What The F#&@ - Over!

BOHICA - Chicago-Style Pizza ... NOT!

Gusano's

19 Cunningham Corner

Bella Vista, AR 72714

Phone: (479) 876-6969

Website: gusanospizza.com
Prices: $$$$

Having lived in Chicago, and Naples, Italy, I am a bit spoiled and know good pizza when I shove it in my pie hole. I only had a beer and a calzone, so my experience was limited, but the "Chicago-style pizza" I saw looked nothing like any deep dish pizza I have ever had in Chicago and their prices are kinda high (see below).

A very noisy place, our waitress pounced on us for an order before we even had a chance to look at the menu or the mini 20-page flip chart with specials, happy hour deals, drinks, and appetizers listed. $1 off draft beer on Thursday night, I had a Sam Adams Octoberfest which was lukewarm. A good English ale should be room temperature, a Sam Adams should not.

The Fork Is Bigger Than Their $8 Pizza!

I refuse to pay nearly $13 for a ten inch pizza, so I was going to try their Italian roast beef sandwich, a Chicago tradition, but when I asked if it came with fries the server told me "we don't have French fries, only chips". Because you cannot eat an Italian roast beef without fries, I went with my third choice, a calzone. The calzone was ten bucks and nothing special. Not big by any stretch, there was too much sauce inside along with the sausage, pepperoni and mozzarella. It also came with ranch dressing (see photo above), an Italian staple ... NOT!

Our server never did come back to see if we needed anything else despite my attempts to catch her eye so I could get a different, possibly cold, beer. If this place rates 5 stars, Yelp needs to expand their rating system to 10 for real Chicago pizza joints like Pizano's and Pizzeria Uno. No bang-for-the-buck here folks.

CombatCritic Gives Gusano's 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... That's 2 Stars On A 5-Star Scale ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Gusano's

Title: Chicago-Style Pizza ... NOT!

Key Words: Gusano's, Chicago, Chicago-style, pizza, pizzeria, deep, dish, Bella Vista, AR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Translation: "BOHICA" - Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Il Lazzarone

1628 Frederick Avenue

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 273-0582

Website: illazzarone.org

Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, you will find Il Lazzarone. Their website claims: “The Association of Vera Pizza Napoletana hereby certifies this establishment to sell true, authentic pizza Napoletana", so we had high hopes that this was going to be a memorable experience. It was memorable all right, but not in a good way.

The place looks more like a burger or barbecue joint than a pizzeria, having brick walls, wood floors, and country music blaring over the speakers. Not much ambience. We arrived at 7pm and you could shoot a cannon through the place without hitting a soul. We were quickly seated.

Glasses of average wine, Sicilian Nero d'Avola for example, started at $8, so I decided to have a "tap" beer. The menu said "ask server for selections" and prices were listed as "MKT", so based on the prices of the wine, I did not think the beer would be reasonably priced. It was not. If you like spending $1 an ounce for beer, this is the place for you! A 6 ounce Boulevard IPA (yes, that is the amount of beer I was served in the photo) was $7 ... $7 ... that is more than $1 per ounce ... MAMMA MIA!

I asked the server if the Caprese salad ($7) came with bread and she told me it did not. Nuff said, not ordering a Caprese, thank you very much.  But then she insisted that the "brushetta" (it is spelled bruschetta and pronounced brew-sket-a) was "the same thing", tomatoes and bread, same thing. I insisted that bruschetta (also $7) is not the same thing as Caprese and bread, having lived in Italy for three-and-a-half years, traveled extensively all over the country and married an Italian, but she would not be swayed. I guess we agreed to disagree because she walked off. I guess the customer is not always right, particularly at Il Lazzarone.

The pizzas come in red (with tomato sauce) and white (without), so my wife ordered the "funghi" (mushroom - which the waitress also mispronounced) and I the "carne" (meat - salame, sausage, and American pepperoni). The guys making the pizza in an authentic Neapolitan wood-fired oven were pleasant and helpful, so I asked who was trained or certified in Naples (a requirement of The True Neapolitan Pizza Association - Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana or AVPN - a designation they claim on their website, menu and walls). He told me that he was trained by his boss who received the certification. OK, close enough I guess.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My wife's pizza ($10) looked decent enough, right size and so on, but just was not pizza napoletana (Neapolitan pizza). The crust was good, but drier and crunchier than any pizza napoletana I have ever had (and I have had many - in Naples) and there was not enough cheese or mushrooms. My wife was generally pleased, but not elated. 

My pizza ($13.50) was smaller than my wife's, closer twelve inches in diameter, also with not enough mozzarella or "meat" and with an odd taste NOT reminiscent of pizza napoletana. Real ("vero" in Italian) pizza napoletana is made with very specific ingredients. Tomatoes from the Naples area with just the right color and acidity, for example, as well as specifically sourced olive oil, mozzarella, and wheat. The odd taste had to come from the tomatoes and I assume that they "seasoned" them, something that would NEVER be done in Naples. Crushed tomatoes and only tomatoes are the first ingredient added to pizza napolitana, no basil, no oregano, no garlic ... nothing ... tomatoes.

For the Midwest, the pizza was fair, but that is not saying much. The prices were twice what you would pay in Italy, even in Florence where everything costs an arm and a leg. A much better meal with two similar pizzas and a beer or half carafe of wine would cost around $16, less than half of the $33 plus tip we paid for this meal. Finally, the server should not have insisted that I was wrong about the Caprese and bruschetta. She could have also benefited from a larger tab (and a larger tip) by letting me have a Caprese salad and bringing me some damn bread. Caprese should not be eaten without a fork in one hand and a decent piece of bread in the other. Get a clue ... give your customers some bread when warranted.

CombatCritic Gives Il Lazzarone 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Key Words: Il Lazzarone, lazzarone, rascal, pizza, St Joseph, Joseph, MO, Missouri, Caprese, beer, wine, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Omaha, NE: Le Voltaire ... Très Bien!

Le Voltaire

569 N 155th Plaza

Omaha, NE 68154

Phone: (402) 934-9374

Website: levoltaireomaha.com

Prices: $$$$

With two medium size rooms and drop ceilings in the corner of a strip mall in Western Omaha, Le Voltaire does not exactly ooze sophistication. What it lacks in charm is compensated for by the friendly service, quality food, and fair prices. Our server never told us her name, but she was very nice and attentive considering it was a Friday night and the place was fully-booked, always a good sign.

It took our server 10-15 minutes to tell me she could not find our first choice of wine, a French Syrah, so I had to make another choice. With bottles of wine starting at $26, I found an excellent value in the Château Sainte Eulalie, Plaisir d'Eulalie, Minervois 2014 at just $27. It was a deep, medium-bodied red (40% Carignan, 35% Syrah, 25% Grenache) with hints of dark berries and spices that complimented my beef main course very nicely.

For our appetizers we had the Brie Josette ($8.95), baked brie served on toast with an apricot-cranberry chutney, and the gratin aux fruits de mer (seafood gratin - $10.95), bay scallops, shrimp and mussels in a béchamel sauce covered with cheese and broiled. The baked brie and chutney came on six small slices of their toasted baguette and while not the greatest appetizer I have ever had, it was an interesting and tasty balance between sweet and savory. My seafood gratin was a tad on the small side, but creamy and delicious with small chunks of seafood that balanced well with the more savory baked cheese topping.

Our main courses consisted of moules frites façon Jacques Brel ($17.95), 20 ounces of fresh mussels in a Lucky Bucket beer and bacon broth served with French fries, and boeuf Bourguignon ($18.95), a beef stew simmered in red (Burgundy, hence the name) wine, with carrots, mushrooms and onions accompanied by whipped potatoes. The mussels were plentiful and yummy, balanced well by the big chunks of bacon in a beer broth. My beef stew was a bit light on beef, but what was there was tender and delicious. The burgundy-based sauce was very well done and the whipped potatoes creamy just like they should be.

The only things that detracted from the experience (and my rating) were small details, but important ones. First, in a restaurant where you drop $100+ for a meal for two, there should be tablecloths. There were none. Second, when I made our reservation (for my wife's birthday) through OpenTable, I specifically requested a "special dessert", but her special day was never even acknowledged. We left without a formal celebration or a sweet ending to our meal.

The atmosphere adequate, the service friendly and efficient, the food tasty, and the prices fair, Le Voltaire is an excellent choice if you are craving French cuisine and an exceptional value and a pleasant surprise in the Midwest where quality, gourmet cuisine is a rarity.

CombatCritic Gives Le Voltaire 7 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Le Voltaire ... Très Bien!

Key Words: Le Voltaire, le, voltaire, French, restaurant, food, Burgundy, mussels, Lucky Bucket, beer, Bourguignon, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Omaha, NE, Nebraska, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Hi-Ho Bar And Grill
1817 Frederick Avenue
Saint Joseph, MO 64501
Phone: (816) 233-7363
Website: hiho-stjoe.com
Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Il Lazzarone you will find the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill. Again, Yelp reviewers raved about the food here, so we gave it a try. What a disappointment! It seems as though low expectations have become the norm among many customers in the region because I am continuously shocked by how appalling food and service turn out to be at places with four and five-star ratings (out of five). The highlight here was the nice guy behind the bar. The lowlights were the food, the prices, and his rude, blonde, female companion.

The companion, a young, blonde woman in her twenties, worked behind the bar and as a server. When we first arrived, I had to get out of her way as she forced her way past me to get to a table, no "excuse me", nothing. Then, after I noticed that a couple of drunk guys had turned the TV I was watching the National League Division Series between the Cubs and the Cardinals on away from me (so they could watch it - again, without asking), I asked her if I could please continue watching the game we had taken that table specifically to see. She said: "well, they've been at that table all day", to which I replied "so?". She finally went over and turned the TV back in our direction after rolling her eyes. She then ignored us for 15 minutes until the nice guy behind the bar came over to take our order.

We almost left at that point and probably should have looking back, but decided to stay and ordered a few different things to sample the menu. As appetizers, we had a beef "slider" with cheese ($3.58) and a deep-fried beef taco ($2.79). The slider was a tiny piece of frozen meat with American cheese between two tiny bun halves, that was it. Hardly worth the price. The taco was in a greasy flour tortilla, was otherwise not bad, but overpriced by $.29 to $.79. 

For our mains, we had a patty melt with onion rings ($8.99) and a Cuban sandwich with fries ($9.49). The patty melt's beef patty was small, there was hardly any cheese, the onions were almost raw (not "grilled"), and the onion rings tasted of fish because the frier obviously had not been cleaned in quite a while. The Cuban tasted decent, but there was not nearly enough meat or cheese and the fries were "OK".

Overall, the service was sketchy, the food mediocre at best, the prices too high, and the value just not there. 

CombatCritic Gives Hi-Ho Bar And Grill 3 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joseph

Key Words: Hi-Ho Bar And Grill, Hi-Ho, bar, grill, St Joseph, MO, Missouri, beer, food, restaurant, dive, rude, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor