Vancouver, WA: "I Know Nothing" Except That Sergeant Schultz Might Even Like Gustav's

Gustav’s Pub & Grill
1705 SE 164th Avenue
Vancouver, WA 98683
Phone number: (360) 883-0222
Website: gustavs.net
Prices: $$$$

With three locations in the Portland area (two in Oregon and one in Vancouver, Washington), I had no idea that the cuisine was Hungarian/German from the name until we gave them a try. They places look modern and nondescript from the outside, but have warm wood tones and German decor inside. This one is more "German" than the Tigard location with high, beamed ceilings, German state flags, even a mini German street scene in the back of the entry as you walk in.

With Happy Hour, a Portland tradition, Monday through Saturday from 2 to 6 PM and 9 PM to closing and all day Sunday in the bar, two can eat and drink quite well for under $30. They have a nice selection of eats from $4.75 (e.g. potato pancakes or Bavarian pretzels) to $7.75 (e.g. cheeseburgers or schnitzel clubs). Two German biers (Paulaner Oktoberfest and Warsteiner Dunkel) are $4.75 for a .5 liter stein and all other draughts are $1 off.

HAPPY HOUR (See Translations Below If You Don't Sprechen Deutsch)

"Original" Fondue $6.75 ... Sehr Gut! (Best value in the place)
- Decent size cast iron pot (bowl) full of hot, creamy cheese served with plenty o' cubes of pumpernickel and other breads.

Bavarian Pretzel $4.75 ... Gut 
Soft and hot with spicy mustard. $5 is the standard price at most places for similar pretzels, so not a super Happy Hour value - make it $3.75.

Sausage of Your Choice $5.75 (Nürnberger Brat) ... SoSo (Tasty, but very small for price)
- Thinner than a hot dog, but longer, this sausage tasted good but was unsubstantial for almost $6. $4.75 should be the max price for this weiner.

Potato Pancakes (3) $4.75 ... Sehr Gut!
- Thin, crisp and yummy, served with small sides of apple sauce and sour cream.

Shepherd's Pie $6.75 ... SoSo
- An English staple, not German, this atypical dish is small with cubes of beef in a goulasch-style sauce then covered with mashed potatoes and cheddar cheese (?) and baked.

Cabbage Roll (2) $6.75 ... Gut
- Cabbage stuffed with ground meat, rice and spices, then baked in a savory sauce with chunks of tomato, carrot and onion.

MEALS

Hungarian Veal Jäger ($18.95) ... Gut, but not a stupendous value
- Could be served with a salad, cup of soup, sauerkraut and/or red cabbage for this price and be perceived as a much better value. The veal scallops were small and the mashed potatoes underneath almost imperceptible. The sauce was delicious and topped with an abundance of fresh sauteed mushrooms.

Pork St. Moritz ($15.25) ... Sehr Gut!
Kinda like cordon bleu, but with the ham and cheese on top instead of inside. The two large, pounded and breaded pork scallops were sauteed then topped with Emmentaler cheese and Black Forest ham, served in a delicious Madeira sauce with creamy mashed potatoes and vegetables. A good value, adding a house or Caesar salad for an additional $3.95 makes it a meal at just over $19.

1. Sehr Gut! = Very Good
2. Gut = Good
3. SoSo - So-So
4. Nicht Gut = Not Good
5. Scheisse = Shit

We have tried both the Tigard and Vancouver locations. The buildings and decor are slightly different, but the menus and food seem identical. The service has been friendly and efficient on all three visits thus far.

My sole complaint was the Oktoberfest I ordered last night (above) that came looking like someone had taken a huge gulp out of it with well over an inch missing from the top of the mug. German (and English) bartenders take pride in filling glasses to the brim, either with beer or a head rising to the rim. This one had either been sitting for quite a while (so the head disappeared) or was a short pour. In any event, it should have been repoured or at least topped-off before being served.

CombatCritic Gives Gustav's 7 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Seven Bombs Equates To:

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - Elite '14/'15/'16/'17 - 650,000+ Views A Year

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Read Chris S.'s review of Gustav's Pub & Grill on Yelp

Title: Vancouver, WA: "I Know Nothing" Except That Sergeant Schultz Might Even Like Gustav's

Key Words: Gustav's Pub and Grill, Gustav's, Gustav, pub, German, Hungarian, Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, WA, OR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: S&G = "Shits & Grins"

Copyright 2018 - 3rd Wave Media Group, LLC and CombatCritic - All Rights Reserved

Omaha, Nebraska: Le Bouillon Translates To "Salty Food" ... BOOAH!

Le Bouillon

1017 Howard Street

Omaha, NE 68102

Old Market, Downtown

Phone number: (402) 502-6816

Website: lebouillonomaha.com

Prices: $$$$

Not good. How this place averages four stars with 170+ reviews on Yelp is beyond me.

As I always say before a review of a French restaurant, "I love French food", but I did not even like Le Bouillon.

We came with a party of 12 from a conference at UNO as well as 2 last minute add-ons, but staff refused to add an extra table at first, making us squeeze into four small tables pushed together with just two small baskets of bread for 14 very cramped people. They told us that they were "fully booked", but less than half the tables were occupied all evening and a glass walled room with two giant tables sat empty next to the entrance. They finally got a clue and brought an extra table jusr before the first course arrived.

The server asked immediately what we wanted to drink, but there was just one, very extensive (at least 20 pages of small print - hundreds of options), wine/drink list for 14 people on the table. There were only a couple of wine options offered by the glass starting in the $9-$10 range and most bottles were well over $100 a pop with several approaching $1000. Feeling perplexed by the poor start, we stuck with water.

The server then dropped a rather heavy butter knife on my arm as she was setting the table for the first course. Things were spiraling downhill fast. They had no moules (mussels) or escargots (snails), focusing their menu on the Raw Bar instead (no thanks - I do not eat un/undercooked animal flesh), so we passed on appetizers. 

"Where's the beef?"

Beside a couple of $9-$13 soups and salads, everything had meat/fish (my wife prefers to eat vegetarian whenever possible), so the only options to her liking were the Le Bouillon Burger ($14) and the Croques Monsieur ($16). The only things that peaked my interest were the Wagyu Hangar Steak ($26) and the Cassoulet ($21), so she went with the croques monsieur and I the cassoulet. Hers came with a bit of salad and mine with nothing, so we both, unfortunately, ordered a side of Frites (fries) with Aioli ($6).

The croques monsieur had two huge, thick slices of egg battered toast, but barely a hint of ham and cheese. It was so salty that my wife could barely finish half. My cassoulet came out with the top burnt, so I mixed it up only to find mostly white beans and a couple of small pieces of ham and bacon. There were no noticeable "garlic sausage" or "duck" as advertized on the menu and it was also very salty, so I gave up after trying to eat half of my $21 white bean casserole. The fries looked very nice, but were very thin and crispy (almost burnt), hard to eat with fork or fingers, and EXTREMELY SALTY. All other attendees had similar complaints of salty food and fries.

When they cleared the table, nobody wondered why so much food remained on all of our plates, so I mentioned to the server how salty the food was, especially the fries, so they removed them (just the fries) from the checks. At $42+ for water, half of a salty sandwich, and half a bowl of salty bean soup (minus the soup), this was one of the poorest values in recent memory.

CombatCritic Gives Le Bouillon 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A Spot On My WALL OF SHAME ... BOOAH LE BOUILLON!

One Bomb Equates To:

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - Elite '14/'15/'16/'17 - 650,000+ Views A Year

Tabelog - Official Judge (Silver)

Zomato - #1 Ranked "Verified" Foodie - Over  1,890,733 Review And Photo Views

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Read Chris S.'s review of Le Bouillon on Yelp

Title: Omaha, Nebraska: Le Bouillon Translates To "Salty Food" ... BOOAH!

Key Words: Le Bouillon, le, bouillon, French, restaurant, Old Market, old, market, menu, Omaha, NE, Nebraska, Portland, Yelp, YouTube, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value

Translation for Civilians: FUBAR = "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair"

"CombatCritic", "TravelValue" and "BOOAH" Are Protected Under U.S. Copyright Laws And Are Exclusive Property Of 3rd Wave Media Group, LLC and CombatCritic

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Portland, OR: Second verse NOT same as the first ... I'm NOT Henry the 8th I Am

Mama Mia Trattoria
439 SW 2nd Avenue
Portland, OR 97204
Downtown Portland
Phone number (503) 295-6464
Website: mamamiatrattoria.com
Prices: $$$$

Second visit, not same as the first and I was not nearly as impressed as when I took my youngest son to Mama Mia (see review dated 7/18/2017). Here are the reasons why:

1. When I heard our server was "Kelly", I was quite pleased because of the wonderful service "blonde" Kelly gave us. This Kelly had dark hair and was not nearly as friendly or customer oriented ...

   a. I asked if it was still Happy Hour when she first arrived at our table (5:45PM on Tuesday), but was told that we had to move to the bar five feet away and sit on uncomfortable stools if we wanted to order from the Happy Hour menu. I told her "no thanks". Absurd.

   b. As a member of their VIP Club, we were entitled to "free garlic bread". This Kelly brought one small loaf (between three of us), then told us we would only be getting "regular" bread from that point on (beside the complimentary calamari, Kelly #1 kept bringing garlic bread throughout the meal).

2. The water is still room temperature.

3. They still do not validate parking, so you have to pay outrageous downtown Portland parking rates if you want to dine there.

4. They raised their prices by $2 a pop on the veal dishes - $25.95 for an ala carte dish is pushing it, but $27.95 (the new prices) is NOT a good value.

5. My wife ordered the Penne with Pancetta and Mushrooms ($18 - no soup or salad) and, being Italian born, was not at all impressed. The pasta was obviously not made in-house, was lukewarm, and they had added red bell peppers. She is allergic to tomatoes and does not like anything that resembles tomato in her food. The dish was bland, she did not like it.

6. My son (my oldest this time) ordered the Fettucine Alfredo ($18.95 - no soup or salad), but by the time he added a little (very little) crumbled sausage ($4) and a house salad ($7), the total was close to $30. He liked the flavor, but was not impressed by the serving size for the price.

7. The side of pasta I got with my Veal Marsala was tiny. The veal was flavorful, but, like the pasta, not very hot and not a very good value at $28 ($26 was pushing it).

Bread (no garlic)

Even though Barry, the owner, sent me a very nice note after my first review, he obviously did not take my comments and suggestions to heart because nothing had changed except the prices and the service, both a disappointment.

Fettucine Alfredo with Sausage ($22.95)

Penne Pancetta and Mushrooms ($18)

I found a place in Beaverton (Aloha actually) where the Veal Parmigiana is as good, if not better, than Mama Mia (it is actually spelled "Mamma" Mia by the way Barry) and for $1 less than Mama Mia's old prices ($24.95) you get antipasto, soup AND salad, generous portions of veal and pasta, and spumoni ... now that is a great value!

Veal Scaloppine alla Marsala - $27.95

I do not think we will be going through the hassle of navigating downtown traffic and parking to eat here again any time soon. If they make some changes (Happy Hour is Happy Hour, wherever you sit, lower prices and/or include soup/salad, put ice in the water or at least cool it before serving, etc.), I may consider going back, but I seriously doubt they will. In the interim, we will be driving 37 miles (past Vancouver and Portland) to Aloha to get a decent Italian meal. 

For such a great food town, Portland (and surrounds) is sadly lacking a decent selection of homestyle Italian restaurants, something I hope changes very soon because if someone can figure this out, they will be extremely successful.

CombatCritic Downgrades Mam(m)a Mia To 5 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Five Bombs Equates To:

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - Elite '14/'15/'16/'17 - 650,000+ Views A Year

Tabelog - Official Judge (Silver)

Zomato - #1 Ranked "Verified" Foodie - Over  1,890,733 Review And Photo Views

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Read Chris S.'s review of Mama Mia Trattoria on Yelp

Title:  Portland, OR: Second verse NOT same as the first ... I'm NOT Henry the 8th I Am

Key Words: Mama Mia Trattoria, mama mia, mama, mia, trattoria, Portland, downtown, Italian, veal, Italy, Oregon, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: Charlie-Mike = "Continue Mission"

Copyright 2018 - 3rd Wave Media Group, LLC and CombatCritic - All Rights Reserved

Vancouver, WA: Solid, For A Chain, Breakfast And Service ... The Decor Is Another Story

Biscuits Cafe

1801 SE 164th Avenue, Suite 103

Vancouver, WA 98683

Phone number: (360) 718-2293

Website biscuitscafe.com

Prices: $$$$

The place ain't much to look at, but the service was great, the food pretty damn good, and the prices fair. What more could you ask for ... ambiance?

In a strip mall, the floor is bare, the tables and chairs unimpressive, but functional and the decor nearly non-existent. Fortunately, we were not eating the decor. I was a bit concerned because the staff all looked very young, but they were actually quite impressive ... very friendly, efficient and professional. The also have a few large wrought iron tables out front, but being a cool Fall morning, we decided to eat in.

One Biscuit & Gravy Combo ($8.95*)

We arrived about an hour before my son needed to be at the airport (15 minutes away) for his flight home and there was a short wait when we arrived, but the hostess quickly seated us when I told her about our dilemma (we were next on the list BTW). She even brought us water and had our server Holly stop by post haste.

Country Fried Steak and Eggs ($12.99*)

My son had the Country Fried Steak and Eggs ($12.99*) and it looked pretty good, a fact he confirmed as he wolfed his breakfast down. My wife went with the Keeping It Simple ($8.95*), where you pick three items from a choice of 27 items, selecting French toast, hash browns and apple juice. She seemed pleased and was full when we left, so problem there you have it. I had the One Biscuit & Gravy Combo ($8.95*) , coming with a biscuit and gravy (obviously), two eggs (over-medium) and three slices of bacon, adding a side of hash browns for an additional $2.49*, a bit pricey I thought, but it was a massive portion. With a name like "Biscuits" Cafe, you would think the biscuits would be big and awesome, but mine was rather small although it was light and flaky as it should be. The country gravy was good, not great, the eggs perfectly cooked, the bacon just a tad too crispy, and the hash browns big, crisp (I ordered them that way) and tasty.

Keeping It Simple ($8.95*) - French toast, hash browns and apple juice

Holly was a delight, keeping us apprised of our order's status, keeping our coffees topped-off, delivering our food relatively quickly, even bringing the check ASAP so we could pay and get to the airport as soon as needed. Which brings me to my main concern, the reception/cashier's station which created a bit of a choke point at the entrance/exit. I think things would flow quite a bit better, especially when busy, adding a touch of sophistication if you paid your server vice having to walk up to the cashier to pay while they are trying to simultaneously take the names of customers coming through the door.

CombatCritic Gives Biscuits Cafe 7 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Seven Bombs Equates To:

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - Elite '14/'15/'16/'17 - 650,000+ Views A Year

Tabelog - Official Judge (Silver)

Zomato - #1 Ranked "Verified" Foodie - Over  1,890,733 Review And Photo Views

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Read Chris S.'s review of Biscuits Cafe on Yelp

* All Prices Are Approximate Because They Do Not Publish Menu Prices Online And I Did Not Get A Copy Of The Itemized Check

Title: Vancouver, WA: Solid, For A Chain, Breakfast And Service ... The Decor Is Another Story

Key Words: Biscuits Cafe, biscuits, biscuit, gravy, breakfast, eggs, bacon, Vancouver, WA, POrtland, OR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: S&G = "Shits & Grins"

Copyright 2018 - 3rd Wave Media Group, LLC and CombatCritic - All Rights Reserved