TravelValue: Restaurants Across The U.S.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Portland, OR: Dear Friend (Caro Amico), Get A Clue (Ottenere Un Indizio)!

Caro Amico Italian Cafe
3606 SW Barbur Blvd
Portland, OR 97239
South Portland, Southwest Portland
Phone number (503) 223-6895
Website: caroamicoitaliancafe.com
Prices: $$$$

Ho-Hum. When I saw just 3.5 stars, I had some concerns. But with nary a decent, home-style Italian restaurant in a town infamous for its culinary delights, I decided to give Caro Amico a shot.

Having lived and traveled extensively in Italy and being married to an Italian, I am used to great, authentic Italian food and Neapolitan pizza at extremely reasonable prices. This has not been the case in Portland in the year we have lived here. With pasta dishes at $20+, individual "Neapolitan" pizzas, and I use that term loosely, in the same price range, and veal entrees (no soup/salad, bread, or both) at $25 and up (when you can find veal), I have found Italian food in Portland and surrounds expensive and subpar. Caro Amico was no exception.

We were herded into the dark bar at 5:20PM even though there were several tables in the restaurant available. The bartender seemed a bit grouchy, not understanding my wife's inquiry about sauce options for her pizza (she's allergic to tomatoes) and stating "whatever" rather than taking the time to understand or explain.

Their "Happy Hour" menu is a joke, with drink prices basically the same as regular prices as far as I could tell and half orders of menu dishes at half-price. Where is the value in that? Being our first visit, we decided to order of the regular menu.

Instead of getting an 6.5 inch "small" one-topping pizza/snack for $11.50, my wife ordered a large pizza "Milano Style", which turned out to be "olive oil and sweet basil" (aka "pesto"), with mushrooms ($18.50) so we could take home the leftovers, a much better value. Having lived in Naples, Italy most of her life, she is a bit of a pizza snob, claiming that the size was "OK" and the sauce, cheese and mushrooms somewhat flavorful, but the crust rather chewy and "blah".

I went with my "American" favorite, Veal Parmigiana (which you would never find in Italy - there is no such thing as meat with tomato sauce and cheese on top), my go-to dish and a telltale sign of a restaurant's quality and value. At $24.75, the "veal" was not bad, but a bit too thick (could have been pounded more) and a little tough. The sauteed veggies were rather flavorless, a mixture on broccolini, zucchini, onions and peppers and mixed in with the pasta (penne) that did not have enough sauce on it. The sauce was fair, not bad, but nothing special. Either the penne or veggies had not been drained well enough because there was a pool of water under the pasta, an unforgivable faux pas and pet peeve of mine.

If you are paying $25 for an à la carte entrée, they could at least drain the pasta and put enough sauce on it so you do not have to eat plain, watery penne ... barf! They also do not serve bread with your meal, something expected at the vast majority Italian restaurants stateside and at ALL restaurants in Italy. There was not even bread on the menu, except for the $7 garlic bread that costs exactly the same on both the regular and happy hour menus.

The numerous "5-star" reviews indicate that they have obviously never been to Italy, having likely eaten only in Portland's dearth of decent Italian restaurants, so Caro Amico's 3.5 -star Yelp average seems a bit high to me. I give them deductions for a lukewarm reception, shoving us into the dark and dingy bar with a grumpy bartender, lack of bread with our meal, a lousy happy hour menu, watery pasta, and not so cheap à la carte menu. Based on this, our first visit, we will not be returning anytime soon ... not impressed in the least.

CombatCritic Gives Caro Amico 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Four Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Long Beach, WA: A Dive With Good Burgers ... And Proud Of It!

Long Beach Tavern
302 Pacific Avenue South
Long Beach, WA 98631
Phone number (360) 642-3235
Website: longbeachtavern.com
Prices: $$$$

Not a bit of a dive, this place IS a dive and they are proud of it! We steered away at first after looking at the menu which had only burgers and pizza for the most part. A guy coming out while we stood there said to us, “they got cold beer and good food”, so after realizing that many places in town were closed on Wednesdays, we decided to give them a shot.

This place has not been remodeled since the 1970s and that’s OK because they do not pretend to be anything they are not. This is a working tavern with beer, burgers, pizza and a cast of regulars who all know each other. The corner of the bar has a sign next to it saying: “RESERVED – Liars Corner”, so I guess the guy and gal sitting there cannot be trusted to tell the truth. They have a decent selection of tap and bottled beers on-hand, so I got an IPA or two which were both cold and a decent value at $4.75 a pint.

Mushroom Swiss Burger ($8.25) with fries ($2.50)

Double Burger ($8.50) with cheese ($1), bacon ($1.25), and a side of fries ($2.50)

We ordered two burgers, me a Double Burger ($8.50) with cheese ($1), bacon ($1.25), and a side of fries ($2.50) and my better half a Mushroom Swiss Burger ($8.25) with fries ($2.50). I could have probably gone with a single beef patty because there was so much meat, I could barely open my pie hole wide enough to bite the damn thing. The fries were supposed to be “beer battered” according to the menu, but they were closer to “shoestring” and straight out of a bag, being the only “disappointment” of the meal. My wife’s $10.75 burger plate was much larger and tastier than the one we paid $2.25 more for just up the street a few nights before.

CombatCritic Gives Long Beach Tavern 7 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better!

Seven Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Shits & Grins"

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Long Beach, WA: Una Absoluta Disappointment ... Understand Compadre?

El Compadre Restaurant
1900 Pacific Avenue North
Long Beach, WA 98631
Phone number (360) 642-8280
Website: elcompadre.com
Prices: $$$$

Having spent a few days at Cape Disappointment State Park just 15 minutes up the road, this was one of the few modern, semi-upscale (not a dive) restaurants on the peninsula as far as I could tell. A bit of a dive, inside and out, the place could use a complete remodel or a deep cleaning at the very least. The prices are a bit on the high side for Mexican, but the service was decent.

Fortunately, the chips and salsa were free because the chips were of the cheap, store-bought variety and, likely, the salsa was as well. We also added a side of guacamole ($5.25), probably the best value on the menu and not bad, having been properly seasoned and with hardly any of the less expensive tomato filler most places use.

I had the #2 Combo, a taco, enchilada, and tostada with rice and beans ($11.95). The taco came with picadillo (shredded beef) on a store-bought, pre-fab taco shell that fell apart upon first bite because of the not-so-well drained meat and the cheap shell. If you know me, my biggest pet peeve at a Mexican restaurant is store bought chips and pre-fab taco shells, a sure sign of mediocre quality. The cheese and onion enchilada was actually quite good and the sauce tasty, I will give them that. But the tostada was a nightmare, coming on a, you guessed it, pre-fab tostada shell that was so soggy by the time I got to it that I could only eat it with a fork. I asked for “all beans, no rice”, but I got the rice anyway. The refried beans were actually quite tasty.

My wife ordered a Cheese Quesadilla ($8.95), coming with a large dollup of guacamole, sour cream and diced tomatoes. A bit pricey for a tortilla filled with cheese, but this was one of the biggest quesadillas I have ever seen with loads o’ melted cheese inside a huge flour tortilla. Still not worth anything near $9, it was not a horrible value in contrast to the other menu items.

This rather expensive, mediocre Mexican food in a less than stellar environment left me "Disappointed" once again.

CombatCritic Gives El Compadre 4 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better!

Four Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

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Title: Long Beach, WA: Una Absoluta Disappointment ... Understand Compadre?

Key Words: Long Beach, Washington, Cape Disappointment, El Compadre, el, compadre, Mexican, taco, Portland, Oregon, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato, Google

Long Beach, WA: A Mild "Disappointment", But A Decent Value Overall

Malai Thai Restaurant

509 Pacific Avenue South
Long Beach, WA 98631
Phone number (360) 642-2275
Prices: $$$$

Having spent a few days at Cape Disappointment State Park just 15 minutes up the road, this was one of the few modern, semi-upscale (not a dive) restaurants on the peninsula as far as I could tell and the highest rated of two on Yelp. We arrived at the front door on Wednesday night, but, oddly enough, they were “Closed”, so we had to find somewhere else to eat in a town with few dining options, even fewer in early spring before the summer throngs arrive.

The Chicken Pot Stickers with Ginger Soy Sauce ($7) were pretty good, coming with seven at exactly a buck a piece. The accompanying sauce was one of two “disappointments” of the evening, a small cup half filled with soy sauce and a little ginger which I could not taste. The other disappointment and a pet peeve was when our entrees both arrived before we were even half-way finished with our appetizer. No excuse.

I ordered my Thai go-to, Massaman Curry, with beef, potatoes, onion and peanuts ($11). It was good, not the best I have had by far, coming with a fair amount of thinly sliced beef in a Massaman sauce that was also “thinner” than most. The flavor was still pretty good.

My wife had Malai Noodles Special (D1 - $9.95), coming with stir fried yakisoba noodles with cabbage, carrot, onion, celery and beansprouts topped with crispy chicken strips and a sweet and sour sauce. The veggies were fresh and the chicken crispy and abundant, a good value at less than $10.

Again, not the best Thai I have had and I love Thai food, but a relative bargain in a tourist town with few decent dining options and even fewer TravelValues.

CombatCritic Gives Malai Thai 6 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better!

Six Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Good To Go"

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