TravelValue: Restaurants Across The U.S.: May 2018

Monday, May 21, 2018

Hoquiam, WA: CombatCritic Was In The Casa ... And It Was Così Così (Italian for "So-So").

Casa Mia Italian Restaurant & Pizzeria
2936 Simpson Avenue
Hoquiam, WA 98550
Phone number (360) 533-2010
Website: casamiahoquiam.com
Prices: $$$$

The place looked inviting from the outside, a typical mom & pop Italian restaurant appearance like you would see back East where, unlike the Pacific Northwest, great Italian eateries are abundant. The inside looked more like a cheap diner with little Italian influence other than the few pictures and paintings adorning the walls.

The place was packed at lunchtime, but we managed to find a booth in the back. The service was efficient and friendly and house wine relatively cheap ($3.25/glass), but the glass was small and the wine obviously low-budget. Nevertheless, not a bad deal for a little wine with lunch.

They did not have veal parmigiana (I asked) and now I know why. The only veal option was the Veal Marsala a la Scallopine ($17) which was not prepared in the typical manner, but prepared in advance and sliced in small strips with mushrooms in a sweet Marsala and looking more like stew than "scallopine". The sauce was decent, but a touch too sweet, even for a sweet Marsala, so they had obviously added sugar or another sweetener. For $17, the serving was rather small as was the accompanying side of fettuccine Alfredo, both looking a bit pitiful on the large, oval plate. It did come with a salad and garlic bread, so compared to Italian restaurants in the Portland area where we live, it was a relative bargain.

My wife had the Spinach Cheese Ravioli (small - $10.50), spinach and artichoke pasta stuffed with cheese and topped with alfredo sauce and pesto. Again, not a big serving by any stretch, but a good value considering it came with garlic bread and a salad. The salads, by the way, were big with too much dressing and topped with a heap of shredded mozzarella and sliced black olives. I had to go see my cardiologist forthwith.

The food was decent, not great, and the prices fair, making Casa Mia a relative bargain in a region where overpriced, mediocre Italian food is the norm. But compared to my favorite Italian restaurants in LA, San Francisco, and NYC, this place was very "middle of the road", hence my rating ...

CombatCritic Gives Casa Mia 6 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Six Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Good To Go"

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Vancouver, WA: Petra House Dropped The Ball, Earning A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME"

Petra House

1900 NE 162nd Avenue

Vancouver, WA 98684

Website: petrahousewa.com

Prices: $$$$

I will not waste too many brain cells on Petra House because they have zero business acumen and I refuse to spend my time or yours on a business that has such poor customer service. Long story short ...

I would not have even known about Petra House if not for a Groupon email that arrived in my inbox yesterday, so I bought one knowing that it was our anniversary and my wife loves Mediterranean cuisine even though we were planning on going somewhere else that night.

Groupon - Note that it states "Only valid for traditional MENU", not traditional "DISHES"

Being a business owner who has used Groupons, I know that businesses lose money on the deals (40% percent off in this case PLUS a hefty 40%-60% commission for Groupon on the purchase price). The only reasons for a business to use Groupon is to let people know they are there and get them in the door, win them over as future customers, and hope many purchasers do not use the Groupon at all (which happens more often than you would think).

I saw that the table next to us was having a problem with their Groupon (he was extremely irate) after we had ordered , so I decided to check and see what the problem was. The server, Simone, explained that their Groupon (and ours apparently) was good only for the "Traditional Menu" as it clearly states on the Groupon. What they MEAN is that you can only order off of the menu page entitled "Traditional Dishes", so our orders did not comply (like the other table). I told her that there was obviously confusion regarding the terms "menu" versus "dishes" (see my menu photos and Groupon) and that we thought there was a "Special Menu" other than the regular (traditional) menu that we had ordered from, asking to reconsider her position. She staunchly refused, stating that "the manager isn't here and I can't make a decision like that". Are you telling me that here is no manager on the premises who can resolve customer issues? Who the hell is in charge here? Needless to say, we cancelled our dinner order, ate and paid for the appetizer we had ordered, and left.

Traditional "Dishes", Not Traditional "Menu"

I refuse to frequent businesses with poor or non-existent customer service and there was absolutely no reason for this business not to make an exception to policy (which they have the ability to do) based on the language confusion in the Groupon. I told Simone that they had lost two customers (the other table and us) that night and that I would be cancelling the Groupon, which I did the following morning. Instead of winning customers over with a positive first impression, Petra House dropped the ball and lost two customers plus all of our friends and acquaintances who will be hearing about our horrible experiences. So much for our anniversary dinner.

CombatCritic Gives Petra House 1 Bomb out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME" ... More Bombs Are Better!

One Bomb Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair"

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Portland, OR: Dear Friend (Caro Amico), Get A Clue (Ottenere Un Indizio)!

Caro Amico Italian Cafe
3606 SW Barbur Blvd
Portland, OR 97239
South Portland, Southwest Portland
Phone number (503) 223-6895
Website: caroamicoitaliancafe.com
Prices: $$$$

Ho-Hum. When I saw just 3.5 stars, I had some concerns. But with nary a decent, home-style Italian restaurant in a town infamous for its culinary delights, I decided to give Caro Amico a shot.

Having lived and traveled extensively in Italy and being married to an Italian, I am used to great, authentic Italian food and Neapolitan pizza at extremely reasonable prices. This has not been the case in Portland in the year we have lived here. With pasta dishes at $20+, individual "Neapolitan" pizzas, and I use that term loosely, in the same price range, and veal entrees (no soup/salad, bread, or both) at $25 and up (when you can find veal), I have found Italian food in Portland and surrounds expensive and subpar. Caro Amico was no exception.

We were herded into the dark bar at 5:20PM even though there were several tables in the restaurant available. The bartender seemed a bit grouchy, not understanding my wife's inquiry about sauce options for her pizza (she's allergic to tomatoes) and stating "whatever" rather than taking the time to understand or explain.

Their "Happy Hour" menu is a joke, with drink prices basically the same as regular prices as far as I could tell and half orders of menu dishes at half-price. Where is the value in that? Being our first visit, we decided to order of the regular menu.

Instead of getting an 6.5 inch "small" one-topping pizza/snack for $11.50, my wife ordered a large pizza "Milano Style", which turned out to be "olive oil and sweet basil" (aka "pesto"), with mushrooms ($18.50) so we could take home the leftovers, a much better value. Having lived in Naples, Italy most of her life, she is a bit of a pizza snob, claiming that the size was "OK" and the sauce, cheese and mushrooms somewhat flavorful, but the crust rather chewy and "blah".

I went with my "American" favorite, Veal Parmigiana (which you would never find in Italy - there is no such thing as meat with tomato sauce and cheese on top), my go-to dish and a telltale sign of a restaurant's quality and value. At $24.75, the "veal" was not bad, but a bit too thick (could have been pounded more) and a little tough. The sauteed veggies were rather flavorless, a mixture on broccolini, zucchini, onions and peppers and mixed in with the pasta (penne) that did not have enough sauce on it. The sauce was fair, not bad, but nothing special. Either the penne or veggies had not been drained well enough because there was a pool of water under the pasta, an unforgivable faux pas and pet peeve of mine.

If you are paying $25 for an à la carte entrée, they could at least drain the pasta and put enough sauce on it so you do not have to eat plain, watery penne ... barf! They also do not serve bread with your meal, something expected at the vast majority Italian restaurants stateside and at ALL restaurants in Italy. There was not even bread on the menu, except for the $7 garlic bread that costs exactly the same on both the regular and happy hour menus.

The numerous "5-star" reviews indicate that they have obviously never been to Italy, having likely eaten only in Portland's dearth of decent Italian restaurants, so Caro Amico's 3.5 -star Yelp average seems a bit high to me. I give them deductions for a lukewarm reception, shoving us into the dark and dingy bar with a grumpy bartender, lack of bread with our meal, a lousy happy hour menu, watery pasta, and not so cheap à la carte menu. Based on this, our first visit, we will not be returning anytime soon ... not impressed in the least.

CombatCritic Gives Caro Amico 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Four Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

RESTAURANTS OF THE US

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